Fear... The Other "F" Word
For the alcoholic/addict, fear is a double edge sword. The pain that strikes our inner being as we come to grips with our mortality and addiction to the unknown. At no point in our life will we ever understand the concept of fear until the moment our bottom strikes. For this is when the pain of what we're living in finally outweighs the fear of what change will take and require of us. In a way fear is what saved us. Fear gave us the sweet gift of desperation that blossomed into humility, and the willingness to take suggestions from those who have embraced long term sobriety, and could lead us into a new way of living.
The best things in life are on the other side of fear. Like jumping out of a plane with a parachute. The fear leading up to that leap can be overwhelming, but once the chute opens up and the the wind is in your face the fear is displaced with pure joy, and for a few minutes in time you're flying with the birds; happy, joyous, and free. Fear serves its purpose, which is to keep us alive. It's a survival instinct that is hard wired into our DNA. But long-term, constant fear is detrimental to anyone, especially the alcoholic and addict.
This is where faith becomes instrumental in moving into a life of recovery. Fear can not exist where faith lives. Faith diffuses fear. When we look back on how our old thinking and old patterns attributed to our eventual downfall, inevitably we can see that a fear of something or someone was the root driver. For me, fear of disconnectedness is that root driver. Finding a Higher Power, exercising my connection with it daily, and having faith in my Higher Power ensures my freedom from fear.
Hoping your faith grows and moves the mountains.